About me and this blog
A few years ago my health was deteriorating as fast as skiing down a mountain.I touched earth when the cardiologist told me I might not live until the next day.
But like the speed and movement of skiing take over the active involvement of the skier, live took over what happened to me, and I recovered a bit, and even though I didn't reach the top of the mountain anymore, I was able to walk from the scene head up high.
I needed to keep my head up high, not to trip into the pitfall of depression, self-pity and indulging in the care of others.
It was quite a journey and it still is.
Medication keeps me alive, and destroys my kidneys at the same time.
But I won't bother you with all the rest of the details of chronic disease, except for telling you that I still feel the intense movement of life, while the speed is gradually influencing me far less than it did.
The standstill of living the rest of my life on the couch is one of my largest fears.
So I started to think about what I really wanted out of life. Well, that's a lot.
And I started to think about who were important in my life, who disappeared through time and left an emptiness that made me feel more emotional than I wanted to admit.
So I decided to find them and talk to them.
It worked out in an unexpected way.
Life prepared the right moment in our lives and I'm very happy to say that my life is a lot richer.
A few days ago one of my friends asked me about my bucketlist.
Already I had a list in my mind, but as I don't have enough money to realize even the simplest money-requiring wishes I'd kept the list in my mind, and only tried to realize the ones that needed no money or which needed only moderate travelcosts.
Having my dear friends in my life was already a huge experience and it made me very grateful.
After being 35 years in a relationship which was one sided, lonely, but also a struggle to realize my dream of being a mom of a large family, I'm ready for the world.
Each stage of my life I've taken the challenges with an eagerness that made other people look amazed and sometimes feel inspired.
So why not only give the care as I always had to give care to my kids with special needs and those without special needs, and open the door and see what happens?
That bucketlist needs some active involvement. From me, and maybe even from you.
So I've opened this blog, so there's a place my bucketlist will be written down, will be kept alive, and will be worked on. In english, so all my friends can understand what's going on.
And I'll start with my first wish, which has already been tackled and has come true.
:)
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